these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
