we have officially lost it.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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