There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize