I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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