So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
