Nicole vs. Life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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