"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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