That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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