I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
