I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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