No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Four minutes until I can fart!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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