holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize