This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
