They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
