Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
