How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
How external is "for external use only"?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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