it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
