Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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