Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
