On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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