Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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