I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
