I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
