She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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