So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
