your room smells of hookers.
And success
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
