i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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