I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize