everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
