What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hippo gnu deer
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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