I like to think it a success when the cops are called
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
