i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
