Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
