so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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