I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
operation harelip BJ is a go
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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