Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
