I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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