so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
