the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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