I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I need to sanitize my soul.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
