Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
