i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
