Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
