yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
sarcasm needs its own font
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
