he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
