I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
