Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
