shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
