Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
