"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
