I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
