what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
