Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
