We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
stop calling my apartment porn island.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
