theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
