It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
