I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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