i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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