Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
