Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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